I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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