i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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