it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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