chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize