I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
