3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
