Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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