Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
