glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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