Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize