Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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