I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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