Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
