Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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