What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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