Who wears a wallet chain?!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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