Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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