I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
