He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
