I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
