Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
