I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
