32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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