we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
