that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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