I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
