Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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