he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
pray to the hookup gods
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
