Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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