I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
