you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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