adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Houston, we have a blender
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
