I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
