Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
