In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
