I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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