You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
