I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
