He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize