You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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