I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
