I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
