I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
