4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
