i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
