honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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