Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
