quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
