Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
