I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
