yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
