Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ttyl tear gas
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
