In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
how do you play pong handcuffed?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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