You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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