covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
