Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
