I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Did I show you my penis last night?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
