I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
