Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
