Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
