the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
