So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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