she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we're making bets on your personal life
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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