dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize