i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
