can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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