just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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