I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
