Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
