haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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