he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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