I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
