Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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