as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
