i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You dont lie about slip and slides
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
