You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
