she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
