I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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