I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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