she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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