I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
