So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
