I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize