Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
