Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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