franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
