Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
