i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
