she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
