This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
