i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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