Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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