genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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